Driving Tips…

Because humans are fools that are entrusted with battering rams on wheels… After the break…

Driving Tips…

Let’s talk “fog.” We all know what the concept of “fog” is. It’s not “the fog of war,” which is a common term used in computer games and… Well, war… Fog is what happens when the clouds that are in the sky decide to sit their butts down onto the ground and retain their cloudiness. Fog is not transparent; Fog is opaque. Fog is not completely opaque; There are varying shades of opaqueness with fog. Sometimes, fog obscures your vision slightly. Sometimes, fog obscures your vision greatly.

Regardless of the opaqueness of the fog, though, please… FOR THE FVCK OF GOD, TURN YOUR HEADLIGHTS ON WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING IN FOG!

Not your parking lights. Your parking lights are not your headlights. Turn your headlights on when you are driving in fog.

If you can not locate where your headlights are on your car or you do not know precisely how to turn the headlights on in your car, you should travel (during the daytime, mind you) to your local department of motor vehicles (or whatever it is called in your part of the world) and ask the helpful government employees there something to the effect of “Excuse me, kind government official, please instruct me on if I have headlights attached to my motor vehicle and, if so, please instruct me on how to activate them for when I need to see in less than clear conditions. Thank you.”

I don’t care if you can see just fine in the fog. I don’t care if it’s just a “little” fog.

I need to see you as soon as possible. I need to see you behind me. I need to see you in front of me. I need to see you driving in the opposite direction towards me.

When I can see you, I can make better driving decisions. If I can’t see you or I can’t see you in time, I make poorer driving decisions. Those driving decisions have a direct impact upon my safety as well as yours.



I understand the concept of small children. Small children have very short attention spans. They require physical activities to sate their short attention spans. These physical activities are sometimes organized by adults in the form of team sports such as soccer or baseball or basketball or football (as in Gridiron or American football).

I have no problem with small children, with the concept of sports or with small children playing sports. None whatsoever.

And I also understand that these organizations that allow children to play organized team sports need money. That is fine. If an organization wants to sell food at a sporting event or sell T-shirts or sponsor a car wash or… Something to that effect, I am fine with that. Good for you for raising funds so that small children can play organized sports so that they are not wandering the streets for ill intent.

What I would prefer to address is that children, when in the process for asking for money for their sporting organization, stay away from moving motor vehicles. Specifically, stay away from parking lot entrances.

See… When people are driving motor vehicles, they have a lot on their minds. Is the idiot in front of me going to stop too quickly? Is the idiot behind me not going to stop in time? Is the idiot in the opposite lane going to turn into my lane irresponsibly and, thus, force me to perform an evasive maneuver? Is the traffic light going to change in the “uh-oh” zone where I have to make a split-second decision as to whether to accelerate quickly or perform an impromptu check on my anti-lock brakes?

Is Bigfoot & 17 of his (or her) happiest friends suddenly going to appear and start line dancing across the road for no reason than because they can?

These questions and many other similar questions is what a driver is thinking when they drive an automobile.

So when children decide to step off of a curb at the entrance of a parking lot to approach your automobile because they want to procure funding for their sporting organization while you are attempting to get out of traffic and into the parking lot… That is bad. Very, very bad.

Bad for me. Bad for them.

I might have hit you. The guy behind me might have hit me. I might have hit someone in front of me had they had to deal with your darling little brats who begins running up to the automobile.

Again, I have no problem if you want to sell candy or wash cars or sell magazines… Just do not interfere with the normal flow of traffic. Increasing the likelihood of sudden & unexpected movement with automobiles is never a good idea. Don’t do it. Thank you.

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