What the H*** is Elf on a Shelf?

What the H*** is Elf on a Shelf? after the break…

What the H*** is Elf on a Shelf?

I know that I am not young anymore. The latest boy bands? Sorry, if not for workplace conversations, I would still be convinced that New Kids on the Block and Menudo (or is Minudo?) were still “en vogue.” Video game consoles? I know a little bit, such as their names and how even console kiddies are beginning to reminisce about the “good ol’ days” of console gaming. That actor who got killed because of of the Porsche accident? I knew of him but didn’t quite know much about him.

Everyday, my world is littered with evidence that the world has decided to pass me by. Yeah, thanks for being a kid and a young adult… Now get the **** out of our economy before we call the cops! No more cultural relevance for you!

Slowly, I have been coming to grips with the reality that video game stores will never hold anything relevant to me ever again. Oh… Look… There’s a whole tiny shelf of PC games. How quaint. Take away the Steam titles, the “we have our own version of Steam” titles, the MMO games, the Sims and the girl-centric “games” and you have… Nothing left, really. Not that they had much there to begin with, anyway.

I haven’t been on the inside of a movie theater in so long that I don’t even look at what’s playing anymore. Not even the promise of new Star Wars movies can compel any interest in me to see them in an actual movie theater. Movie theaters are where young people go to watch movies because they don’t realize that the exact same movie will be on pay-per-view, the cable movie channels, Blu-Ray DVDs, regular DVDs & pirated umpteen billion ways on the Internet within two years of it’s premiere. And it will be cheaper then a movie theater. And better then a movie theater.

Now it’s “Elf on a Shelf.”

I’ve done some research into this, as much research as I could manage before realizing that I was wasting my time with the topic. Apparently, it’s some doll of an elf that you place on a shelf (get it? “Elf on a Shelf”) and it supposedly watches small children to make sure that they behave.

In other words, it’s an intimidation device for your children. If you have children.

I’m sure that there are parents that swear by this doll. Still, I don’t understand the point. Maybe it’s a soft indoctrination effort to ease these children into a life of constant “good” surveillance (“No, really… We’re just looking out for your own best interests. Look, if you have nothing to hide, then where’s the harm?”) when they become older.

Whatever happened to just taking the presents away and giving them out as birthday gifts later?

“Elf on a Shelf” is simply more evidence that not only has the world passed me by but maybe it was a good idea that I never bothered to keep up with it after a while.

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One Response to “What the H*** is Elf on a Shelf?”

  1. qrackerjackquake Says:

    This was kind of funny 😀

    I’D say there is a big difference between “learning” and “understanding” which this last one takes much more time.

    I’ll take some more time to try undertanding your text but seems it’s fit well with this time of the year… mix feelings… probably normal for most of us.

    But anyway Merry X Mas and happy new year Lutonaut… keep the good work!!!

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