The Rant – Enough with the Young Adult novels…

The Rant – Enough with the Young Adult novels after the break…

The Rant – Enough with the Young Adult novels…

I get it now. I understand. I am Sean Connery.

Let me explain.

Sean Connery, by the time the year 1980 rolled around, was already a fabulously successful actor. How successful? He was the original movie version of the fictional spy James Bond. A lot of people born after 1990 just shrugged their shoulders. Let me rephrase that in lingo the post 1990-generation will understand: Sean Connery starred in a movie series that was more popular in it’s day then Harry Potter, Twilight and The Hunger Games – Combined. He then decided to add the cult classic “Highlander” and “Zardoz” to his collection, along with with an Oscar-winning nod for “The Untouchables” and finally a turn in the popular “Indiana Jones” series. Oh, and just for kicks, returned one last time to the role that started it all – James Bond, in “Never Say Never Again.” Just to pour salt on the wound, he then turned in a memorable performance as the renegade Soviet sub commander in “The Hunt for Red October” (you know, back when our foreign policy concerns were limited to Caucasian Communists).

To write that Sean Connery had a long, fruitful and amazingly successful movie career is an understatement.

Yet Sean Connery will also be remembered as the man who mind-numbingly turned down two roles that would have elevated his rock-star status in movies from “Jaw-Dropping Excellent” to “Mind Blowing Brilliant”: Morpheus from “The Matrix” and “Gandalf” from “The Lord of the Rings” series.

Huh? Why did he do that? He replied that he just “didn’t get it,” that he didn’t understand the appeal. After fumbling those two roles badly, he attempted to make amends by playing Alan Quartermain (think the literary predecessor of Indiana Jones) in the movie adaptation of “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” It didn’t end well. Advancing age has since given Sean Connery a convenient excuse to bow out of the acting business.

I’ll admit is right now – I don’t understand why some properties are trendy and others aren’t. I don’t “get” the Harry Potter series – It’s just Star Wars with a different setting. Twilight is just a series of romance novels with werewolves and vampires thrown into the mix. The Hunger Games is a young adult re-telling of “The Running Man.” Pirates of the Caribbean is Johnny Depp running around a green screen as an effeminate drunk pirate waiting for the CGI effects to be painted in (to be fair, the first in the series was modestly entertaining).

This is what sells nowadays? This is what everyone clamors for?

I’ve gotten old and society has passed me by. I am now Sean Connery, reading over scripts and wondering what has possessed modern-day society to see things that I can’t. To be fair, I was sucked into the world of Star Wars which could legitimately be described as a blatant rip-off of Flash Gordon without the intellectual property and a hokey religious “Force” attached to it. Indiana Jones is merely a movie serial in modern-day movie form.

I guess that this is the way society works; Old people hate whatever is new and young people can’t understand why old people like the old stuff. Yet I can’t understand why such things become popular; Why did Harry Potter become successful? Was it the setting? Was it simply a successful redressing of the same old story? Was it simply the case of “Right Place at the Right Time”? Is it one of those “No Gurlz Alowed!” clubhouse mentality where you’re either in or you’re out?

As I watch the world march by without so much as a break in it’s stride, I am beginning to understand that lonely, barren feeling that senior citizens feel as the options on television and movies begin to decrease. This is what it’s like to become culturally obsolete, a world that cares not one whim of your tastes. I wonder if the people who revel in Harry Potter, Twilight and The Hunger Games will feel the same way in 25 years when it is their children playing with toys or reading books from new product lines that they never heard of. One can wonder if the Internet Age generation will be able to make the leap from Twilight or The Hunger Games to whatever fancies the 12-18 year old crowd a generation from now. I wasn’t able to make that leap; I’m Sean Connery. I’m guessing that, someday, they’ll be him, too.

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