Particle Zoo…

Particle Zoo after the break…

Particle Zoo…

It’s late, I’m tired & I swore that I wouldn’t revert back to the “Hey, how ’bout them Iranians?” kind of blathering opinions that most blogs have. However, I figured I’d comment on this one particular (ha ha, no, that wasn’t intentional) subject…

See, I’m lazy. There’s just no getting around it. What’s the old saying? “A cop only works as hard as they have to.” Well, that’s more or less me with a few exceptions. At work, I work. There’s no getting around that. Even on the days that I really, REALLY, REALLY don’t want to do any work, I still work.

I pay my bills on time. I pay my taxes on time. I make sure the lawn doesn’t grow to the height of my waist. I keep the gas tank in my car at least 1/4 full. I make sure I have enough to eat for tomorrow. I make sure the house wouldn’t be condemned by health inspectors if they burst onto the property at any given moment of the day.

I do the little things to keep going.

However, I don’t “work” in that conventional sense. I don’t go “the extra mile.” I’m not the guy who throws $1,000 dollars worth of Christmas lights onto my house for the winter season.

Yet, I have ideas. I will always have ideas. I had ideas when I was in grade school. I have ideas now. I will have ideas (should I live that long) when I’m 100 years old.

Some ideas suck. A lot of ideas eventually become outdated. A few ideas, though, are creative enough for me to write down, smile, giggle a bit to myself, & then move on with my life.

When I was in Middle School (Grades 5th through 8th), we had a class called “Home Economics.” It wasn’t “Economics” like in the conventional sense – We didn’t study about supply & demand or anything like that. Instead, it was about practical stuff that a child our age might actually find useful. Practical stuff like “Mom & Dad write checks. Here’s what a checking account is & how to write a check.” However, it was also a lot of other practical stuff like, “Mom & Dad have a sewing machine. Here’s how to make your own gym bag.” It was our first baby steps into being exposed to the working world, of the time clock, of coming home & having to cook your own meal & vacuum your own rug. Fun stuff.

Have I bored you yet? I’m getting to my point. Hold on.

Anyway, I’ll always remember this one poster in the classroom. It had scientific pictures of what various diseases looked like through a microscope. Here’s what E. Coli looks like. Here’s what botulism looks like. Fine – Those aren’t diseases but you get the draft. Right next to the scientific picture was an artist’s rendition of what the disease would look like if it was drawn to be a character on a Saturday morning cartoon (do they still have those?). The point of the poster was to wash your hands, don’t eat spoiled food & avoid insects… Or something like that.

So, every semester, we had a “big project” in Home Economics. Remember, we’re simple little kids & our “Big Project” could take even a marginally productive adult about two days to complete in their spare time after having major heart surgery.

Not every class of “Home Economics” had the same “Big Project” at the same time. ‘Class A’ could’ve had a paper on how to open a checking account or some silly crapola like that while “Class B” could’ve had cooking a meal for the family & shopping for those groceries at the grocery store. Something like that.

My friend’s big project was to sew together a teddy bear. Awww! How Cute!!! My big project (at the same time), since I was in a difference class, was to sew together a gym bag.

Let me tell you right now – Whoever invents a sewing machine where the needle is nigh intimidating gets my vote for innovation of the year because to see a gleaming, uber-sharp sewing needle go up & down many times per second towards your tiny little fingers does not encourage you to enter the ever-exciting world of sewing. Quite the opposite, in fact.

One day, during all this sewing extravaganza, I hit upon a delicious idea – Instead of sewing a teddy bear, why not make a stuffed toy that resembled E. Coli or one of the other diseases on that poster? That would be fun. That would be… Enjoyable. Even funny. Why do I have to sew together a f***ing gym bag when I can have some f***ing fun for a chance at the g***amn school?!!

The more I thought about it, though, the more my delicate skills at cutting & sewing together seemed inadequate for the job. I would need to start off small & simple. That’s when I hit upon the idea of sewing stuffed toys that resembled neutrons, protons & electrons… Since they were round. I could cut out a round pattern, despite my severe inabilities. Cut out round pattern, stuff with fluff, sew the f**ker back up. Awesome! I could even turn it into an extra credit project for my science class! Win!

No, not to f***ing be. My Home Economics teacher deep-sixed that idea the moment it propelled itself out of my little mouth. A gym bag it would be. Crapiola to the highest degree.

So, what does this all have to do with “Particle Zoo?” Well, see, there’s a woman who actually took that idea of mine & ran with it & appears to be fairly successful at it as well. It’s called “Particle Zoo.” Just my luck she’s a million-billion-gazillionaire with oodles of talent to boot.

I could’ve had that idea. That idea could’ve been mine. Over two some-odd decades ago.

Naw. Finish you stupid gym bag, you little f**k.

Maybe that project would’ve sparked my interest in science… In business… Or not. Maybe I would’ve made my toys, got my extra credit & then I would’ve gone right back to watching Saturday Morning cartoons & drinking far more soda then a child my age should have.

Still, it makes me sort of wonder what would’ve happened if I had pursued one of my ideas that didn’t necessarily suck at the time.

That’s my problem – I have an idea, it makes me smile, I write it down & then go right back to punching the clock & typing away in my office environment.

The problem with developing ideas, though, is that they require money to develop. That’s usually where I run into problems – The money part.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. So I vented. And now I’m done.

%d bloggers like this: