The Well of Mysteries (oblivion mod)…

The Well of Mysteries (oblivion mod) after the break…

The Well of Mysteries (oblivion mod)…

In my efforts to get back up to regular, daily updates, I’m trying to review small mods from the video game, Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion.

“The Well of Mysteries,” is, in essense, a house mod. However, before you get to the house, you have to go down a well… An oversized well that’s located in that slum area on the outskirts of Imperial city where all the boats are.

Unfortunately, the well is locked. So locked, in fact, that you need a key. Drats. What are you going to do? Fall asleep, of course. You don’t fall asleep just anywhere, though, but fall asleep in a special bedroll lying right next to the well.

Fine. You fall asleep in the special bedroll and… You “wake up” (more like teleported) in a wacky place that is essentially an arena so that you can fight a ginormous “iron colossus.” Right.

You know, I usually write something like, “I can’t write a mod to save my life” as though it’s a disclaimer whenever I’m about to criticize a mod. No exception this time, either.

Look, I’m not in the mood to fight your oversized colossus that I seriously suspect is just a re-named knight of order or something like that. Supposedly, the sword you get from killing this ginormous beast (Just how are you to wield such a massive weapon?) is a bit overpowered but since I never fought him, I wouldn’t know. Also, if that’s not the weapon you earn for killing this guy, then why is this 60-some odd foot-tall monstrosity carrying around a normal-sized sword. What’s he using that sword for? A toothpick?

Anyway, let’s just pretend we’ve got the special key. We enter the well &… Now we’re in a garden. A weird little garden that goes up & down & all around & seems to be in it’s own little plane of existence. Except for some CPU hogging moments where the game really bogged down, the gardeny area wasn’t all that bad & was actually quite nice. If the bogginess was eliminated, that would definitely be a plus.

OK, we eventually get to the end of the garden where we enter though some Shivering Isle-esque doorway & into a cramped tower. Inside the tower are three portals. One of the portals takes you into a bedroom. Now, I don’t know if everyone will have this experience but someone special joined me in the bedroom… Alessia Caro & her bodyguard! How nice of them to drop by! I’m sure this has to be a programming snafu.

I can’t remember where the second portal takes you but the third one takes you into a special “steampunk”-ish room that has some alchemy equipment & books.

And there’s your mod. Overall, it’s worth a look-see but not worth keeping. If I had my way, I’d most likely look into the bogginess in the garden as that’s the largest technical concern of the mod. As for overall value… I can’t really recommend it. It’s another “free bed & storage” with a garden on the side. There wasn’t a storyline attached to the mod & this is what frustrates me about so many of these types of mods… They offer absolutely no in-game explanation for the weirdness that follows. Imagine…

Bob: Hey, Mike.

Mike: Hey, Bob.

Bob: Say, do you know anything about that oversized well over there?

Mike: Can’t say that I do? Why do you ask?

Bob: Well, I was just curious. We live in these here houses & that well has been here for what seems like forever & it’s locked.

Mike: Locked?

Bob: Yup. Weird thing is that no one has the key for it. I asked those thieves’ guild guys to pick the lock but dang if they can figure it out.

Mike: Geez… If thieves’ guild members can’t pick a lock, you know it’s tough.

Bob: Yeah, that’s what I can’t figure out. Who’d lock a well like that?

Mike: I dunno. Sounds like a mystery to me. A mystery well.

Bob: A well of mysteries.

Mike: Yeah.

Bob: Hey, do you know who left that bedroll next to the well?

Mike: No, why?

Bob: I dunno. It’s been there as long as the well has been there.

Mike: Really, I haven’t noticed that before.

Bob: Kind of a strange place to sleep, you know? Next to a well of mystery?

Mike: Maybe the guy gets thirsty in the middle of the night. Needs a drink.

Bob: How can he open the well? You’d need a key, remember?

Mike: Maybe he’s got the key.

Bob: Why’d he sleep next to a locked well if he’s got the key? Why not just have a house like everyone else?

Mike: Maybe he’s got a house… Inside the well.

Bob: If he’s got a house inside the well, then why is there a bedroll OUTSIDE of the well, then?

Mike: Maybe he likes to sleep outdoors on occasion. Did you think of that?

Bob: Naw. I guess I didn’t.

Mike: See? This is why you’ll never be a city guard. You’ve got to learn to think outside the well.

Bob: OK, OK, you don’t have to rub my nose in it.

Mike: Don’t worry about it. Hey, I’m going over to the Arena to watch a bout or two. Are you in?

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