Andrew’s Mod (oblivion mod)…

Andrew’s Mod (oblivion mod) after the break…

Andrew’s Mod (oblivion mod)…

I’m trying to get back into writing in this blog daily but also doing something constructive other then writing, “Those Iranians are really something, huh?!”. Therefore, I’ve struck upon the idea to review small mods for the video game “Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion.”

Yeah, I know. You have to start somewhere though, so why not here?

Today’s fascinating mod is simply labeled “Andrew’s Mod” but it should really be called “Butt Crack Tower.” Yeah. That’s what the building is called, “Butt Crack Tower.” You can see where this is going, right? Right.

The mod is by no means a serious (both in design & intent) addition to the Elder Scrolls universe, meant as a funny aside from the start.

However, I’d like to pull all Oblivion modders aside for a moment, if I may. Just for a moment because I don’t want to keep any of you from missing out on all the “h0t sw33t pr0n” that you would otherwise be surfing on the Internet…

If you post something on Tesnexus.com, try to actually post something that is complete, OK? Can you do that for me? Not just for me, but for everyone else, OK? Can you do that?! Just try.

I can’t tell you how often you see a mod & you say to yourself, “That’s a nice-looking mod” only to find the following sentiments written in the description field of that mod…

“OK, dudes, I knocked this out in about 4 hours on nothing but Red Bull. OK, um, the landmass is done & I put in a village but the village isn’t really done but it’s done enough to walk around & I put some villagers in there & I think they work (I kinda checked them but if you see something wrong with them, let me know, k?). Ignore all of the dungeon entrances because they’re just placeholders, they don’t go anywhere. I would’ve included this one sweet dungeon that I’ve been working on but it just couldn’t work for some reason, I don’t know why. I need more Red Bull. Anyway, also, I think something is wrong with the huge lake out to the south somewhere, I’ll look at that at some point. Also, don’t try to go into the city that’s in the mountains to the South-East (next to wonky lake, kinda), because it’s just an outer wall & there’s nothing inside. Oh, in the village, some of the guards might attack you for some reason. I’m working on that as well. I don’t know when I’ll be able to update this next. If anyone finds any serious bugs or anything, let me know, k? Thnx bye.”

Really. Please stop that. Stop that now.

“Butt Crack Tower” is located near Frostcrag Tower (a legit Oblivion Mod that you have to buy). At least the author was decent enough for the marker to show up as soon as you loaded in the mod so that there’s no “Where the f@#! is this place?” that you sometimes get with other mods. Also, you can fast travel there immediately, which was another nice touch because I didn’t feel like fast traveling to the closest already visited place & then running over.

There really is no “tower,” just a round entrance in between two large mountain protrusions that are meant to be, I guess, butt cheeks (Oh, the 15-year olds & their mental equivalents will be rolling on the floor over that one). There’s some chick outside the entrance but she does absolutely nothing so I don’t know why she’s there.

The entire “tower” interior is nothing more then a room filled with armor & some seriously overbalanced stuff. There’s a whiff of some sort of story: A knife sticking a note onto a table that reads that some of the stuff is from Morrowind (the prior Elder Scrolls game). A lot of the stuff in this room is overbalanced so if that’s your cup of tea – Enjoy. However, there really isn’t anything else here. There’s a “door” on one of the tables that leads you to an area inside “Destroyed Kvatch” where you shouldn’t be (You can very easily go to the edge of the area & fall off into the “fake” outside world since you’re technically “inside” Kvatch, if that makes sense).

All in all, the mod was cute for a visit but that’s all it was worth.

My only advice to the author of this mod is to do the decent thing & work on making this mod a serious 1.0 release & not the slapdash effort that it currently is. Everyone likes a good laugh, myself included – Just take the time to make this mod into a really good laugh. That’s all.