idiot drivers…

idiot drivers after the break…

idiot drivers…

actually, it should be titled “a$$hole drivers” or “fcuktard drivers that deserve their genitals to suddenly but painfully burst into flames” but i figure i’d keep the title sfw (“safe for work” for the acronym-impaired).

you know, i really am a mild-mannered driver. i’ve got nothing to prove. give me an open road & i’m pushing the speed limit or whatever is comfortable, which tends to be 40-45 mph (yeah, i know – you metricheads can figure out what that is in k’s).

all i ask is respect, that’s all. respect the fact that i want to get to my destination in one piece & i’ll respect you.

so, first off, i had a sihtty day at work. my ex-boss’ cronie gives me a thinly-veiled e-mail about some account that’s screwed up. not my fault & if our software system was as robust as the last one, it wouldn’t have occured to begin with but that’s beside the point.

fine. i fix the problem that’s not even my fault to begin with even though i shouldn’t even be doing the task. actually, i don’t even know if i “fixed” the problem because her e-mails are so fcuking vague to begin with that five interpreters could wind up having seven completely different interpretations. you know, i type in all lowercase letters in this blog but it’s really informal – i’m not presenting a letter to the fcuking board of directors or any siht like that. so, i’ll probably get some siht tomorrow because i couldn’t decipher her fcuked-up female-bitchy-a$$ brain of hers.

here’s a hint – when on-the-clock, form a complete sentence like a normal human-fcuking -being. when off the clock, i couldn’t care less what you fcuking do with your time.

grrr.

then, my pacificist current boss who doesn’t want to make any waves before she retires (which means, by default, that my ex-boss is still realistically my current boss) decides that it’s ok if a department uses folders reserved for one type of account for another type of account. no, that’s not ok. the folders are different for a reason; one is larger then the other. they don’t fit inside our cabinets. see? see?! no fit-y in the cabinet-o!! but, of course, i know nothing & everyone else just knows so much more then i do.

so, i have to process all of these folders as though they were the regular folders that i normally process… at the very last minute. before i leave. which i couldn’t because we have timeclocks & you have to punch out at a certain time now… or else.

double grrr.

so, now that i have to return to work under the cloud of a bitchy-a$$ e-mail awaiting me as well as unfinished folders still to process, i still have to get groceries before i go home.

so, i go to the grocery store. some idiot is stalled out right where i have to turn into the grocery store! dude! think you could, i don’t know, conk out some other place… any other place but the exact place i have to turn into the grocery store? think you can handle that for next time?

oddly enough, getting the groceries was the easy part.

you know, you’re probably wondering to yourself, “when’s this guy going to talk about idiot drivers?”

coming right up.

see, when i drive home, there’s a double-lane going one way. there’s a double-lane because there’s an on-ramp to a highway & a road after a highway exit & then it squeezes down to one lane again. if i just drive to work & back, i can avoid this horrific spot. if i have to get groceries, i have no choice but to go through it.

so, to make a short story long & agonizing, i have to sit at this light when i notice, in my rearview mirror, that someone wants to smoke past me in the other lane.

no.

not today.

you see, it’s all about respect. it’s all about waiting your turn. wait your fcuking turn. everyone has to, so must you. you’re going to get there, tough guy. you’re going to get there.

i don’t want to write anymore.

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