christmas day…

christmas day all after the break…

christmas day…

it arrived. it was celebrated. now, the aftermath begins.

i’ve come to expect that christmas eve & christmas day will never be perfect. it won’t be perfect because of any one individual, any one gift excluded or included… it won’t be perfect simply because everyone wants something different for their christmas experience.

and i wouldn’t want it any other way.

every year, i almost feel a little guilty over the fact that we’ve “dodged another bullet” – no one died, nothing horrible happened to anyone… we dodged the big stuff, the stuff that really matters. of course, in the past, we’ve had the kind of christmas where “it was the first without this person being alive” or “it was the first after this bad thing happened”. no one lives for too long without one of those christmases (or, if you want to get really technical, insert your favorite winter holiday here instead of christmas).

with that momentary elation that we’ve managed to spend another christmas together comes the inevitable dread that… eventually… that luck will run out.

someday, eventually, there’ll be another christmas that will be “the first christmas without this person being alive” or “the first christmas after that bad thing happened.” i don’t when that christmas shall be but i know it will arrive. i know that will be a painful christmas to endure, no matter the presents.

so, for everyone who had to go through a “first christmas without this person being alive” or a “first christmas after this bad thing happened”… well, you have my sincerest sympathies. i know what it feels like. sadly, i’ll probably have to feel what it is like again… and again… and again.

however, i didn’t have to endure that christmas this time around. that, to me, is the best christmas present i can ever receive. it doesn’t need to be wrapped. it can’t be bought. it always fits under any kind of christmas tree, charlie brown or otherwise.

the best part of all… that’s the christmas present that everyone wants & everyone appreciates the most, even if they don’t realize it. the gifts will change over time – vhs tapes one year, dvds the next. that one, though, won’t.

dodged another bullet. feels great.

now it’s time to start doing my part in ensuring that i can give that christmas present to everyone next year.

sentimental crapola aside…

could someone please tell me why a majority of my save games from oblivion won’t work now that i’ve installed shivering isles? dumba$$es…


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