speedbumps after the break…


i hate speedbumps. i really, really, really hate speedbumps.

i hate everything about speedbumps that i can think about them. i just hate them. hate them obsessively.

i know that you’re not supposed to hate but i can’t help it – i hate speedbumps.

let’s destroy some myths about speedbumps, shall we?

1). they don’t slow people down! most people still drive suvs. if you drive an suv, then the only speedbumps that matter are the “bar”-styled speedbumps that, quite frankly, feel like you’re driving over a 6-inch high wall. otherwise, those idiot bell-curve speedbumps do absolutely nothing. trust me – i know.

2). they aren’t cost efficient! cost of placing a speedbump onto road vs. placing state trooper in area for day or two on random basis. everyone can bellyache how expensive a state trooper might be & how that trooper is always oh-so-needed elsewhere but tickets are tickets & speedbumps don’t give out tickets. also, all the time & energy spent by a town to place speedbumps down costs far more then a day or two of an officer sitting in a speed trap.

3). bad for the environment! suvs accelerate over them as though they don’t exist to lessen the bounce & smaller cars nearly stop to slowly go over them to lessen the bounce. emissions at a steady rate will always be less then suvs that gun their engines to go over them or smaller cars that practically stop to slowly go over them. if you care for the environment, then every speedbump is just more that toxic co2 going into the air.

there’s more to write but i’m tired & cranky. i’ve never understood the draw or appeal of speedbumps as a whole “traffic calming” tool. what city/state/local planners ought to do is anticipate rational vehicle speeds instead of trying to bring everything down to a crawl.

wasn’t it not too long ago when we wanted everything to be efficient? whatever happened to that?


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