Weekend Edition…

age of decadence (game), superman sues, hexadecimal time & national treasure 2 (2007 movie) all after the break…

age of decadence (game)…

i’ve been watching the development of this game for quite some time now. i have no idea when this game will come out but i hope that it hits the stores (yes, real stores that you actually walk into) by this time next year. yes, real stores, i’m too lazy &/or paranoid to buy things over the internet. maybe if i can call up & order it, i’ll do that. the internet is just too insecure.

“age of decadence” is what “fallout 3” fanbois masturbate about when they think of what “fallout 3” might have been like had not bethesda got it’s grubby little paws on the fallout ip. granted, age of decadence takes place in some pseudo-d&d era & is about the devastation that occurs when there is no more magic in a land that was very reliant on magic. or something.

anyway, it’s turn-based, isometric, about a post-apocalyptic era, an rpg & has other little “hard rpg” code words that hard rpg lovers tend to like. i have no idea when it’s coming out but i wish “iron tower” (the developers) the best of luck & maybe it’ll be good enough to revive the crunchy old hard rpg genre that seems to have gone the way of the text adventure. you never know.

superman sues…

having had a slight historical bend for comic books in my youth, i’ve always had the slight belief that superman survived not just because it was one of the first comic books & “it got it right” but also because superman was never shy of filing a legal complaint. apparently, someone recently put together an article of all the times that superman has met his competitors in court rather then in the comics. i’ll spare you the research – superman has won far more often then he hasn’t, fairly or otherwise.

this conclusion leads me to the belief that the best strategy for surviving is just a pummeling, non-stop legal offense. seriously, i’m seeing a trend – the walt disney has had a well-documented history of being very un-family-values-like in it’s defense of the walt disney brand & it survived to become, well, a giant. the same thing with microsoft. the same thing with superman. the same thing, even to a lesser degree, with a certain unnamed “religion” that begins with the letter “s” & rhymes with “tie-in-all? oh gee!” well, truth be told, all religions act like jerk-offs whenever they can get away with it. so much for that “turn the other cheek” crapola they teach us bottom-feeders, right?

anyway, it’s just a little depressing to know that sasholes run amok in the upper-echelons of our society & not only get away with it but smile the entire time as well.

hexadecimal time…

i guess i’m about 11 years (or 150 some odd years) too late to be in on the ground floor of this nerdy geeky concept.

here’s the concept – change everything to hexadecimal (read: 16 instead of 10), starting with the way we tell time. some guy named nystrom wanted hexadecimal everything (weights, money, linear measurement, etc.) & wrote a book about it that’s currently in google books. then, in 1997, some other guy revived it & invented the “hexclock.”

ok, on the surface, a pretty cool topic. nystrom, belated, gets a little gold star of the day.

however…

  1. how do you divide things into thirds? that’s the beauty of the # 12 (and it’s derivatives like 24, 36, etc.) because it allows you to divide by 2, 3, 4 & 6. 16 drops the 3 & the 6 but then adds an 8 (giving you 2,4 & 8). that’s better?
  2. imperial measurements, for all of it’s “34 schlongschlongs equals 1 doucleberry” or some other silly measurement, actually work. the metric system was foisted upon unsuspecting people by wealthy people so that the wealthy people could make more money. so i’m told.
  3. nobody uses all of those intermediate measurements on either side of the pond. we don’t use furlongs too much & they don’t use hekameters or hecameters or whatever they’re called. look, we use inches, feet, yards & miles. they use centimeters, meters & kilometers. seriously… i’ve heard foreigners say to the effect, “it’s about half a kilometer down the road.” half a kilometer… isn’t that like 5 hecameters or whatever you divide a kilometer into 10 equal parts? why not say that instead?

look, i ain’t trying to kick a dead nystrom fellow dead for wanting to think outside the box. thinking outside the box has given us some pretty cool things over the years, like the character “yoda” from “star wars” & velcro. however, as screwed up as some measurement things are (qwerty keyboard, wonky calendar) i’d rather have smart people inspecting bridges rather then coming up with new & exciting ways to tell me that it’s noontime. give me clean drinking water first, then you can go & make a new car that hops around like a bunny rabbit because wheels are just so darn “boring.”

national treasure 2: book of secrets (2007 movie)…

my heart really isn’t into much today. let me explain. it was supposed to rain today. there you go – rain for today. the way they were making it sound, i was expecting to wake up to a downpour. nah. i woke up to dry weather. so, i figure, stupidly, “the rain will arrive any moment.” nah. rain still hasn’t shown up.

i go to check the radar &, sure enough, rain is coming. my slothiness is justified; why bother working outside today when rain will pretty much wipe everything out anyway? so, about an hour later, the rain does show up… for about 3 minutes. a light sprinkle. there you go, there’s our rain. the big rain that the forecasters were warning us about for who-knows-how-many-fcuking days! thank you, weather-fcuking-forecasters for the heads up on the light drizzle that lasted all of 3 fcuking minutes! thank you! thank you so very fcuking much!

you know, i’m not a workaholic when there’s no paycheck involved. money? yeah, i’ll work my butt off. no money? screw you, i’m kicking back & relaxing for awhile if you don’t mind. i have to psyche myself up in order to work like that; i’m not perfect. so, when someone tells me there’s going to be rain & then there’s no rain… well, i just can’t psyche myself up to do much work. i did a little work outside almost as a consolation prize (remember consolation prizes? whatever happened to those things?) but it really wasn’t what i had wanted to do because what i had wanted to do i could’ve done if the fcuking weather forecasters hadn’t blown up a 3-minute light drizzle into the monsoons that’ll flood the whole fcuking northern fcuking hemisphere!

what does this have to do with some crappy “da vinci code” wanna-be movie? next to nothing. except for the fact that, because i was doing nothing & couldn’t motivate myself to work, i decided to watch it just to say that i watched it.

“national treasure 2: book of secrets” is the sequel to “national treasure.” if you don’t know the franchise, it’s simply “the da vinci code” minus the silly religious hysterics. a bunch of people follow clues left behind centuries earlier to a big, undiscovered treasure. there’s your movie. enjoy.

i just don’t know the appeal of these kind of movies. i mean, i understand why “low-information” (read: morons) would like something like this because it’s a videogame secretly disguised as a movie & has just enough interactivity to keep the adhd-kiddies from going back onto the internet to troll for delicious pr0n. however, as an actual movie… well, there’s nothing there.

i know i’m late to the party but i get it – movies need to keep your attention & they’ve gone back to a tried-&-true formula… the mystery that you can help solve, too. what’s old is new again to a new generation & blah blah biddity blah blah.

nicholas cage stars as some guy who’s now slightly famous after his discoveries in the first film but his great-great-whomever is framed by some piece of evidence to have been involved in the plot to kill abraham lincoln & in order to clear his name he has to find some city made out of gold. yes, you read that right. it doesn’t even make sense when someone serious writes it so don’t worry if you didn’t grasp the concept.

you know, i’m just too old for these movies. it’s the same reason why adults don’t breathlessly wait for each new episode of “sesame street” – i’m intellectually starved, gddammit! fcuking feed me already! i just could not get into this movie.

  • why do they need to find a city of gold?
  • you do realize that you can’t make entire structures out of gold because gold is so fcuking soft, right? it has to be some sort of alloy if you want to build these huge fcuking temples out of your fcuking gold, right?
  • if living in the early 1800’s & such was such a hard fcuking way to live, how did they have all this time to build elaborate fcuking secret rooms & whatnot, all of which still work fairly perfectly centuries later?

you know, it’s one thing to have just a movie about just a treasure hunt but then you have to deal with some sort of book of presidents, romance, some sort of villain who really isn’t a villain (ed harris must’ve been crying with laughter when he received his paycheck for this lightweight film – i bet he considered putting a mannequin in his place & seeing if the director even noticed).

ok, that’s another thing – ed harris wins the award for lamest villain… ever. seriously. why did they even bother putting a villain in this film to begin with? why? there’s a riddle puzzle whatever that they can answer.

you know, if you guys want to make a videogame, just make a fcuking videogame! don’t make a movie that pretends to be just like a videogame but it isn’t! ooohhh! have the balls to sign up some developers & make a fcuking 3d adventure game, slap “national treasure” on it, market it to the kiddies or whatnot & leave movies to be actual movies.

that’s not too hard to follow, is it?

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