as if i’m not there…

as if i’m not there after the break…

as if i’m not there…

you know, let me cut right to the chase – if you’re a woman (you can tell if you’re a woman if your only reproductive genitalia is a vagina, just to let you know), you do not have the right to talk about your relationships within knowingly open earshot range of other people.

i have no idea what brain chemical fcuk-up occurs in a woman that allows them to just assume that you are remotely interested in their prior relationships. i think this is the same brain chemical fcuk-up that occurs that allows them to assume that they can just talk about the gory (i know, they think it’s “beautiful”)  details of childbirth to whomever they please for whatever whimsical reason they please.

you know, i understand that cubicles are not recording studios, that they are not sound-proof. i also understand that women, generally, like to talk to other women; why? i don’t know. that’s just how they are.

however, here’s a hint for all of you budding professional women wanna-bes out there – if you want to talk to another woman about your prior relationships… do it someplace that everyone else can not hear you!

honestly, i don’t want to hear about how your last boyfriend was so cold to you & that’s why you broke up with him. i don’t want to hear about how your last boyfriend was so cheap & that’s why you broke up with him. i don’t want to hear about how your last boyfriend was “all hands all the time” & that’s why you broke up with him.

stop it! stop it now! i am trying to work here! see? see the work?! that’s why i go to work – to work! not to be forced to overhear you & some other employee laugh about how pathetic your prior boyfriends were! take your lifetime original movie story pitch outside where i can not hear you! take whomever you are talking to about these topics outside with you!

is it any wonder why i will most likely die a single person?

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