subject two (movie)…

subject two (movie) after the break…

subject two (movie)…

because we have every movie channel, occasionally, i get a little freaky. i’ll pick a movie simply based on the description alone. that’s risky, by the way, because oftentimes my imagination is far more vivid then anything the movie has to offer.

“subject two” is a little independant movie that, quite frankly, is boring. there’s just no way around it; it’s boring. i dunno, maybe i don’t “get” indie movies, the kind where the tea-sipping intelligentsia all huddle around & declare how mainstream cinema is dead because of special effects & if only we had a slew of two-hour movies that examined the consciousness of the human spirit by having two people on a train discuss their love of spoons but they aren’t really talking about spoons, the spoons are simply an analogy for the consciousness of the human spirit & the ticket-taker isn’t really a ticket-taker but god itself & the train isn’t a train but life itself & the toilet isn’t a toilet but… you get the idea.

just to let you in on the plot, “subject two” is about an ethically-challenged medical student who bites on a mysterious offer from a scientist involved with reviving dead people. the medical student proceeds to go up to this cabin way up in the snowy mountains where the doctor proceeds to kill the student only to keep reviving him. the student has all of these weird experiences & explains them to the doctor & eventually there’s a hunter involved &… it’s boring.

look, this is essentially a one-room movie. the room is the cabin &, occasionally, they go outside to play in the snow. there’s your movie. you know how those evil mainstream movies actually have plots that have actual conclusions? well, this movie doesn’t have one of those. let me spoil the movie for you right now because i don’t want you to waste your life watching this movie…

  • the doctor is actually the assistant.
  • “subject one” (the head buried in the snow) is actually the doctor.
  • “the doctor” (who’s really the assistant) is eventually killed by the real doctor with the intent on bringing him back to life to further his experiments.
  • “subject two” (the ethically-challenged med student) accidentally finds & eventually kills the hunter.
  • “subject two” eventually wanders off into the forest, never to be seen again.

there you go, there’s your whole movie. i just saved you about 90+ minutes of crapola about the discussion of life & what it means & how pain is a part of life & how death is part of life & how coupons are a part of life and… it’s boring.

don’t let the chick at the beginning of this movie fool you. she has nothing to do with this movie. nothing. she drives the med student to some place & then that’s it. you’re thinking that she might come back at the end of the movie but she doesn’t. if this were a real movie, they’d somehow tie her in at the end but this is an indie movie meaning that once she vanishes she vanishes for good.

in the end, if watching two men talk about the meaning of life & death in an isolated cabin is your cup of tea, then go build a shrine to this movie. otherwise, you have better things to do.

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