Weekend Edition…

ags: day 6, shoot ’em up (2007 movie), realm of strangeness (oblivion mod), ags: day 5 & noctis V after the break…

ags: day 6…

yesterday, i added more descriptions (not that there is much that needs to be looked at in my ever-so-small game thus far), made a cursor for talking, made a character to talk to & then made a simple conversation that didn’t work. i’ve since made the conversation work (something to write about in “ags: day 7” tomorrow).

one of the things i need to work on in conversations is to get the conversations to happen automatically & not when you click the mouse button for the next dialog line. also, i obviously need to work on complex conversations.

i think for today i’ll work on more complex conversations & dabble with (gasp!) opening & closing doors. hopefully.

shoot ’em up (2007 movie)…

one of the reasons why i like children’s books is because the entire book can be discerned from it’s title. “ricky raccoon has a picnic,” for instance. see? the entire title tells you exactly what the book is all about before you even open it.

the same thing can be said for “shoot ’em up,” a non-stop action movie where the body count will likely be higher then the iq of most of it’s fans. this movie doesn’t mess around – right off the bat, you know this movie is about as far from “pride & prejudice” as a movie could possibly get.

clive owen, who was once in the running to be the next james bond after pierce brosnan was booted out of the tuxedo, stars as a mysterious carrot-loving everyman who just so happens to be good enough in a fight to always wind up with the upper hand. when a pregnant woman runs by him being pursued by your standard-issue evil henchmen, owen springs into action & personally delivers a baby while mowing down countless bad guys in the process. bits & pieces of the mystery emerges as owen & his not-quite angelic “girlfriend” (played by aging beauty monica belluci) stay one step ahead of a former fbi profiler assigned to eliminate all the loose ends (played by “wtf is he doing in a picture like this?” paul gia… crap, i can’t remember how to spell his name. he was in that movie about wine tasting that got all of those oscars a few years ago… something “sideways” or something like that).

ok, i’m a guy & i like action & this definitely pushes the action button down pretty hard. however, just like breasts, there’s “ok,” there’s “wow, nice rack,” there’s “holy crap those are huge” & then there’s “grotesquely gargantuan, who are you trying to kid? go see a doctor or a therapist or both right now.” well, this is the action equivalent of that last option – there’s just so much action that, after awhile, your mind bleeds & you just don’t care for it anymore.

this movie almost reminded me of “the transporter,” with it’s over-the-top, there’s-no-way-that-could-happen-in-the-real-world type of violence. it’s an r-rated equivalent of watching a power rangers episode with all the depth & sophistication that goes with it.

mind you, it’s not a bad movie. there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with it. however, the ultra-thin plot that had to be painstakingly stitched in to keep this motley collection of action scenes coherent becomes simply absurd by the time the “big reveal” occurs. one almost wishes for a less grand explanation or for even no explanation at all, a la the movie “ronin,” where you never learn what’s in the briefcase. do i really care about anyone or anything by the time owen somehow manages to escape a plane in mid-flight, only to be pursued to the ground by a group of armed parachutists that is mysteriously far too close to the action sequence in the video game “no one lives forever”?

“shoot ’em up” delivers exactly what the title says but, sadly, nothing more.

realm of strangeness (oblivion mod)…

anyway, i managed to grab this small mod off of tesnexus. small mods usually equal short playtime & this wasn’t much of an exception.

realm of strangeness starts off in anvil bay where a small hill protrudes from the water… a small hill that, supposedly, only you can see. step onto the platform & immediately you are whisked away into the “realm of strangeness.”

in reality, “realm of strangeness” is really a dungeon crawl without the dungeon setting split up into several small zones. a house setting will lead into ayleid ruin setting will lead into an endless void of lava setting lead into… you get the drift. i guess that’s where the strangeness comes in.

for plot, a previous traveler into this realm leaves behind notes that you can follow. the notes aren’t exactly helpful in building any sort of plot – they are mostly along the lines of “whew! made it past that trap! i wonder what this section will bring…” eventually, there is something about a strange coin but i never found the strange coin even though i suspect it has to do with the small button in one room & a small trap in the other. at the end, you get to a church setting & the guy who was writing the notes has long since died & he gives you some pants that gives you a lot of acrobatic abilities to the point where it’s probably a cheat item.

the mod didn’t do a whole lot for me. i know that short mods can’t really live up to an entire game but there wasn’t anything here to get me excited. who is the guy leaving the notes? why is he leaving them? were there any others? who is the merchant & the bodyguard who just so happen to be standing around in one zone? why are they there? why don’t they acknowledge that they’re in a weird situation? i can just hear that conversation now…

bodyguard: slow day.

merchant: yep.

bodyguard: sell anything lately?

merchant: you see anyone here?

bodyguard: you don’t have to get snippy with me.

merchant: i’m not getting snippy with you.

bodyguard: are, too.

merchant: look, why do you have to ask everyday ‘have you sold anything?’ when you know i haven’t sold anything in… well, ages?

bodyguard: i’m not the one who suggested this location, was i?

merchant: this again?! look, for the last time – i am paying practically no taxes to set up here. none! i have a complete lock on all the commerce in the realm of strangeness. anyone wants to buy anything here… they have to go through me!

bodyguard: i’ll try to keep the line down to a minimum…

merchant: very funny! hey, here’s an idea – if you don’t like it, why not work someplace else?

bodyguard: that’s an excellent thought. you go first through all those stupid traps.

merchant: no, i can’t. someone has to stay & watch the store.

bodyguard: there is no store! get that through your thick fcuking skull! there is no store because we are not even on the existential plane! we’re in a realm of strangeness! realm of strangeness! they don’t call it a realm of strangeness for nothing! gah!

merchant: you don’t have to go through those traps, you know. just go through…

bodyguard: what? go through.. what? the hall of deadly farts? i have a bad enough time standing next to this dog here without using a barf bag!

merchant: those are allergies, stupid! ever heard of allergy medication?

bodyguard: oh… sure… let me just walk to the local mages guild for that… past the traps on one end & the hall of deadly farts on the other!

merchant: this is not helping our sales with you acting so unprofessional…

bodyguard: unpro…? unprofe…?! you fcuking idiot! no one is here! no one is here except for us!!!

anyway, it’s a nifty little distraction but it needs more plot. the cheat item is a little fun although i’m sure it’s a game breaker in the rest of the game. make sure you look for small buttons & doors & that sort of thing.

ags: day 5…

so, yesterday i made a second room with a column in it so that i could start learning about walking behind & in front of things & stuff like that.

i attached the first room to the second room & had to learn the hard way about edges & where to precisely place them in order for everything to work properly, which it eventually did. attaching the two rooms made me dip my proverbial toe into the world of scripting, of which i know there will be tons more of in the coming days. i learned the nuances (not really) of the functions ‘player.ChangeRoom’ & ‘player.ChangeRoomAutoPosition’.

oh, i also added a title bar but there was so much there that i know i’ll have to go back & learn some more about it.

i don’t know what i’ll do today but doors & conversations seems to be the next scary things that i need to learn so maybe i’ll do that.

noctis v…

ok, remember when i picked on ‘they came from hollywood’ or whatever the title was eons & eons ago for having been in development since the carter administration & it still wasn’t out? yeah, that one. well, here’s another realistic vaporware title that i used to follow a lot until i realized that it was basically vaporware: noctis v.

what is noctis v? well, think of it as a non-violent exploration game. you explore a galaxy, find planets, land on planets & walk around on them. there you go, that’s your game. the uber-thin plot is that you’re some sort of cat-like humanoid species exploring the galaxy. go!

i have absolutely no idea why this game is taking what feels like 18 million years to make. i know that one of the excuses that used to be batted around was that the creator was going to make noctis v on his custom-made programming language called “linoleum” but that was years ago. so, before he could work on the game, he had to create the programming language. wow. i guess something like c++ just couldn’t handle the madness that will be ‘noctis v.’

the fans of the noctis series have grown so impatient that they’ve satisfied themselves with modifying the now-ancient predecessor of noctis v (noctis iv, if you couldn’t guess) so that it can run on computers made after the turn of the millenium.

anyway, this game is probably never coming out but i still check the website of that place about once a season just to see if anything is there (which there never is).


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