lost paladins of the divines…

lost paladins of the divines (oblivion mod) after the break…

lost paladins of the divines (oblivion mod)…

i’m not sure what to make of this mod. it doesn’t really have a “quest” in the sense that there’s a quest in the little quest-area where quests are listed once you receive a quest. in brief, you’re looking for two sets of armor & have to travel to two ayleid ruins to find them. the ruins, naturally, are filled to the brim with entities not known for their politeness to strangers, especially to strangers looking for powerful suits of armor.

there’s not really much of a story, just an introductory book that says, “i placed a suit of armor in this general area” & there’s one ruin in that area so, naturally, you go there. when you get there, you see this hapless explorer get killed by a werewolf(?) & then the fun starts aplenty. should you dispatch the multitude of baddies in that ruin, a note that you pick up at the tail end of the ruin directs you to another ruin where you pick up the guy’s former suit of armor that he gave to his friend. should you bother to get that suit of armor, the “quest” (that was never really a quest) ends. enjoy.

i dunno, i just had a problem with the mod as a whole although individual aspects of the mod were good. the good stuff:

  • werewolves. maybe they’ve been out forever but i found them to be a nice touch in general.
  • the flying, deadly spiked metal grate thingy on a chain. that was a real neat effect & if it’s in the regular game then i just don’t remember it. if it ain’t, then, well, the mod people did a great job because it looks like it deserves to be in the game. good job, mod people.

the needs-to-be-better stuff:

  • gold werewolves. i don’t get it. one of them could see me at 100% chameleon, the other one couldn’t. there’s this huge warning that gold werewolves can see through chameleon but, really, i guess only one of them can.
  • the abrupt ending of the mod. aannnddd… you escape the second ruin with the armor. good for you. the end. that’s it? that’s the mod? look, i know that this is 1.0 &, if you read the readme, there’s going to be more suits of armor & crapola like that but… make an ending. even if it’s a stupid little text message saying, “the end.” i thought i had missed something back in the second ruin but apparently not.

i have to yell on this next section. forgive me. i do so only because i care.

stop putting schmucks in a cave! stop it! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop! stop!

when i write “schmucks in a cave,” here’s what i mean – you go into a dungeon (cave, ruin, fort, etc.) & there’s a bunch of baddies there aaannnddd… that’s it. they’re just there. baddies. their only purpose in life, apparently, is to wait around so that they can kill you. the end.

you know, i went into the first ruin & i saw werewolves, spectral warriors & some necromancer gang called the putrid hand. all together. in one area. just… milling about, waiting for me. oh, and zombies, too. zombies, werewolves, spectral warriors & necromancers. quite a party, you’ve got here. anyone bring the dip?

i’d love to find out why this motley, diverse group is all together & not killing each other. imagine that conversation for a moment…

putrid hand guy: “hi, spectral warrior. how’s your day been?”

spectral warrior: “not too bad. still dead. still roaming around endlessly in this stupid armor. yourself?”

putrid hand guy: “experimenting on this corpse here on the altar. just like yesterday. wanna see a decaying spleen?”

spectral warrior: “is it mine? [laughs]”

putrid hand guy: “[laughs] nah. i’m just trying to find a new & evil way to torture innocent citizens. you know, to advance the art of necromancy.”

spectral warrior: “so, uh, how’s fido in the hallway there?”

putrid hand guy: “good question. you know, those werewolves don’t really talk too much. shed like you wouldn’t believe though. disgusting.”

spectral warrior: “yeah, there’s some on your robe.”

putrid hand guy: “yeah, i know. hey, thanks for letting us use your crib as a base of operations for our evil, necromancy experimentations.”

spectral warrior: “oh, don’t worry about it! you guys are so much better then those stupid goblins we had in here about a decade or so ago. ugh! skulls & rats everywhere! it was unbelievable! and the smell!”

putrid hand guy: “you mean, you don’t mind our zombies because they, you know, smell kind of horrible…”

spectral warrior: “decaying flesh, i can handle. goblins who haven’t bathed in over a month? i’m a ghost & i nearly vomited whenever i walked near them. it was that bad.”

in short, put a backstory in. i’m tired. end of post. good night.

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