Weekend Edition…

watching soccer, the tv set (movie), verona house part 3, tr2n update, dead mary (2007 movie) after the break…

watching soccer…

to appease our eventual foreign overlords, i forced myself to sit through the second half of some mexican soccer game that was broadcasting on one of those spanish language channels that we’re forced to get because the cable companies bundle them in & we can’t get rid of them. needless to write, i couldn’t understand a word that they were saying except one of the announcers uttered “america” once. i understood that.

the tv set (movie)…

this is one of those “smart” movies that smart people watch as opposed to dummies like me who like cheap action, sci-fi & horror.

unfortunately, i found out i wasn’t very smart because i could only watch a few minutes of it before i felt the nearly irresistable urge to put my hand through the television set to strangle the living siht out of various characters. i didn’t strangle the living siht out of various characters, naturally, which is why i wrote “nearly irresistable.”

the movie is about the process of making television shows, primarily the television “pilot.” see, all of the scripted shows you watch started out as scripts (duh!) that were picked up by networks to be produced as “pilots,” or single episodes so that the executives could then gauge their successfulness (read: profitability) & decide whether to order episodes. kind of like if you could sample a dish at a restaurant before you ordered the whole thing.

anyway, i already know that hollywood is chock full o’ ashsole suck-ups where everyone is nice, every script is golden until it comes time to pick between all those awesomely-wonderful scripts & awesomely-wonderful actors. personally, i don’t like spending time dealing with those fcuk-ups in real life & i certainly don’t want to deal with them while watching a movie in my leisure time. hollywood has some serious siht they need to straighten out because the rest of the world enjoys laughing at you behind your back.

so, i never made it past the part of the movie after the four characters read for their part. oh well. back to being a dummy.

this is just one of the many reasons why i don’t care much for scripted siht on tv anymore, btw.

verona house, part 3…

this mod is done. i’m tired of the crashes-to-desktop. i’m pretty sure it’s the mod because, with just plain oblivion & obscuro’s oblivion overhaul (don’t leave home without it), i got ctds about once in a blue moon. however, a lot of the quest / new land mods i’ve downloaded enjoy crashing oblivion as a hobby.

look, all the people who make mods are a talented bunch who undoubtedly deserve all the sexual favors they’ve received over the years. yet i enjoy playing a game that doesn’t crash once every ten to fifteen minutes for no apparent reason.

i guess i could’ve put up with the crashes had the next to last mission not been so asinine. see, you have to follow this merchant around & ask questions & understand his routine & catch him sleeping with some chick he should’nt be & blackmail him &… stop. too much information. yeah, maybe i’ve dumbed myself down but there was a lot of waste in that quest. there’s a messanger & stamp tokens & you can send a letter or not send a letter but before you can confront him, you need a letter that magically appears in a chest only after you this other quest trigger occurs &… all the while, i have to restart the game every ten minutes or so because of crashes. so… that’s where i left off.

btw, radiant ai strikes again – only in oblivion land do people work in the farms all day long & then go to bed on top of the bed covers… in their work clothes!

onto the next mod.

tr2n update…

yeah, i saw the grainy version of the so called “proof-of-concept” footage for “tr2n,” the supposedly greenlit sequel to “tron.”

eh.

really, there’s nothing there except for a lightcycle chase & jeff bridges. there you go, there’s your footage. i don’t know why everyone envisions “modern” lightcycles as crotch rockets, i think it looks stupid. we have crotch rockets already in the real world so there’s nothing fancy or special when you make a crotch rocket all tron-like. the original lightcycles were neat because they didn’t exist in the real world! yeah, i know – put a canopy over a crotch rocket & there’s your original lightcycle but we didn’t have that then & odds are, we don’t have that now with the exception of this really small start-up company called “venture one” or something like but that isn’t even the same because it’s not technically a two-wheeler, you sit in it like you would a car.

anyway, everyone is also squeezing one out over the fact that the lightcycles don’t turn at right angles & right there i wanted to reach into the interweb & strangle some random geek because – surprise! – in the original, they only turned at right angles in the game! outside of the game grid, they could move however they wanted.

finally, why the fcuk did they advertise jeff bridges when the movie is called… wait a minute, hold on, here it is… yes, called “tron.” yes, tron. hey, here’s a thought – put “tron” in your proof-of-concept footage of a movie called “tr2n.”

yeah, i’m being harsh but, you know… the train for the sequel left my station ages ago. would’ve been neat in the mid-to-late 90’s but i’m a little older & a ton more bitter & cynical now. considering that disney left their video game sequel “tron 2.0” out to rot & die, i’m not too optimistic of anything that comes from the house of mouse anymore. we’ll see.

dead mary (2007 movie)…

whenever i’m confronted with actual, real work, i tend to revert to being lazy if i can get away with it. this means i’m never going to be a millionaire or successful or anything like that. oh well.

however, lazy has it’s perks & one of them is the ability to sit through bad movies.

i’m not suggesting that “dead mary,” the latest movie, is a bad movie. although, in hindsight, i’m guessing no one is waiting with baited breath for it to win an academy award in… well, anything.

“dead mary” stars a group of late-20, early 30-something college alumni getting back together to shoot the breeze & get high at a secluded cottage in the prerequisite wilderness only known as “buttfcuk, nowhere.” like a couple pretending they’re still in love but both realizing they aren’t, they play a silly game called “dead mary” where you look into a mirror, say “dead mary” 3 times & hope that you aren’t killed by some evil spirit named “dead mary.” sounds like a party to me. of course, this is a horror movie… so, well… guess what happens next.

“dead mary” can be best summed up as…

“dead mary” = (“the thing” – arctic setting – creature’s ability to morph) + ((annoying college grads + chicks) + cottage setting + supernatural)

it wasn’t a horrible picture but this is one film i’m not seeing again unless someone pays me a large amount of money. i’ve heard there’s an unrated version & i don’t know what the unrated version has but i’m hoping it’s a few scenes of gratuitous t&a because this film needed something in the first third of the film to keep viewers awake because all of that bs talk was putting me to sleep. character development is not three guys or gals sitting around shooting the breeze. it’s boring.

also, this film reminded me of a joke i once heard – a first-grade teacher is reading the story of “chicken little” to the class. when chicken little is telling the farmer that the sky is falling, the teacher asks the class how the farmer would react. one kid raises his hand & replies, “holy siht! a talking chicken!”

in the film, these guys get an up-close taste of the supernatural &… well, no offense, but i’d be a bit more flustered about a half-maimed corpse talking then what the corpse was saying.

anyway, there’s no t&a in this film, the villain is pretty much this one chick named “eve” (gee… bible reference anyone?) although two men are also briefly “villains” although they don’t “infect” anyone, there’s no real ending (the “tough heroine” shoots a flare into “eve” but we don’t even see if it does anything – that’s the ending), some guy named “ted” is this huge red herring that never shows up & has absolutely no relevance to the film, the last good man is killed even though he’s not infected, no one knows if the bearded man’s girlfriend is infected or not, the dumb blonde burns herself alive along with her infected husband…

you know… just skip the film. it had it’s moments but, really, this is one plane that just never takes off.

now, if you’ll excuse me, i have some real work to do.

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