getting my butt back into a theater…

getting my butt back into a theater after the break…

getting my butt back into a theater…

i’m bored & i really don’t want to write a “real” entry so i’m just going to phone it in today.

i understand that my opinions are nigh politically correct on many things & i guess one of them recently was about going to the movies as in going to a movie theater to see a movie.

bah to that, i said, in so many words or less in an earlier post. someone took exception to it & then quoted me in their blog.

normally, i don’t respond to other people’s opinions because, let’s face it, i’m not interested in getting into a sihtting contest with anyone. yeah, your opinion doesn’t match my opinion. go suck yourself & have a nice day.

however, it did get me thinking… what would it take to get my butt back into a movie theater? i’m not talking for that one special movie (of which there really aren’t anymore for myself, unless george lucas decides to have a burning desire to makes star wars 7, 8 & 9), i’m talking just as a general fcuking rule, as in “hey, it’s friday night, i have nothing better to do… i know! i’ll go see a movie!”

here’s what i came up with…

  • no more television commercials. that’s right. get rid o’ that siht. i want commercials for soft drinks, i can watch them on youtube. get your crap off the screen.
  • no more “local” commercial crap, either. i hate it when movie theaters run those local “slideshow” commercials, you know, the one that give uber-generic movie trivia questions mixed in with ads for used car dealerships. that siht must go if you want my butt back.
  • no more “muscular dystrophy” crap, either… again. i hate it when theaters try to shame you to give money to fight cancer, world hunger, global warming, or whatever else some bleeding heart wants you to give money for. hey, check this out – i just gave like $10 bucks to a sihtty theater to watch a movie, not watch some c-list actor try to convince me to give even more money to fight their pet cause. hey, you’re wealthy, you give money.
  • no more bratty teenagers. hey, here’s a thought – i’m not interested in knowing that you like brandon, you’re embarassed that kyle is still trying to get down your pants, that marcy told susie told lindsey told monisha told brenda that carlos is gay but that yolanda still wants to go out with him, that you can’t believe you got “oh so drunk” at that party last weekend… stop! i’m here for a fcuking movie, not to be filled in on all the gossip because i’m sitting one row from you… while the movie is playing!
  • no more overpriced concessions. i always feel like i’m in the soviet union whenever i even think about getting a tub of popcorn. here’s a thought – people won’t smuggle siht in if the siht you’re selling is… oh, i don’t know… affordable?
  • more matinees. you want my business… i’m an early riser. i try to avoid the idiot crowds & that means viewing the movie before the idiot crowd has even woken up from their hang-overs. that means… 8 am showings. that’s right. i’m up, i’m ready to see a movie… show me a movie. i’m not waiting for noontime. noontime is lunchtime & i’m feeding my face, then. 11 am is also too late.

i was going to write more but i’m bored. there’s the post. enjoy.


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