job daydreams, part 1…

job daydreams, part 1 after the break…

job daydreams, part 1…

my job is so fcuked up annoying, stressful & boring. in order to make it through a day without killing six people including yourself (hint, hint – i’m talking about you, kentucky. i think it’s kentucky. if it isn’t kentucky, my apologies, whatever place it was today where some guy went on a rampage & killed six people) (btw – my condolences to the families of those six people. honest. i’m sure they didn’t deserve it, but, you know, honestly, you never know – the more i work my current job, well… let’s just say i know how the other side feels. not that i condone such actions, of course. i don’t. let the record show that i think murdering anyone is a federal offense that is simply wrong. you do not get merit badges [boy scout or girl scout] for such things).

where was i? oh, yeah, my job… see, in order to get through even a single day of my job, i have to turn on my mental television & just improvise while i go about my nine trillion routine tasks, half of which i’ll be insulted for because of one trivial detail or another.

today, i made up the complete history of an early 1950’s male bodybuilding magazine that was started by two world war ii veterans. in the anti-everything cold war era, though, the magazine is labelled as pornographic & the two men have to defend themselves in front of congress, which they manage to do successfully. the magazine fizzles out & one of the two men turns out to be actually gay & starts a real gay pornographic magazine but then that fizzles out because the gay community hates him for some of the things he said when he was in front of congress & he turns to drugs & booze & wild orgies & dies by the late 1970’s because of aids. the other guy goes on to start a furniture business & is fairly successful until he is injured on the job & has to sell the company. hobbled, he starts writing books & one of them is a memoir about the “bodybuilding” magazine where he admits that, yeah, it really was a gay magazine but they obviously couldn’t admit to it back then because of all the prejudice & this book mends a lot of fences in the gay community even though the guy isn’t gay himself but was just in it because his friend wanted to start a magazine for gay people. so this guy eventually goes to provincetown in 1990 & there’s this ceremony honoring the magazine as being a pioneer & the guy eventually dies in 1995 of old age.

then, i thought about the game show, “the price is right” & how that show would be completely different if only small children ran the show because all of the prizes would be different & there would be no “barker’s beauties” or anything like that.

yeah, i know it’s strange – today it was gay people & small children, which are two nouns that are always awkward in the same sentence but yesterday it was about vampires trying to fit into an 1870’s gold rush town in california where they always make it dreary & rainy so that they can walk around in the “daytime” & they’re constantly resisting the urge to feed off of people because they’ve made a pact not to kill people anymore & the vampires split into two groups – those that want to feed off of people & those that don’t & there’s this huge battle with humans in the middle & the people-feeding vampires eventually lose & their remains are buried in an abandoned gold mine until some modern-day petro-chemical company accidentally uncovers them & that’s where the sequel begins but i never really thought about it because the day ended by then. the non-people feeding vampires learn their lesson that they can never mix with humans & its really sad for this female vampire & male human who really love each other but they have to part & they already knew that they were human & vampire but so that they won’t ever be tempted to see each other again, they both commit suicide (via sunlight & bullet, respectively) & the humans & vampires bury them together & then go their separate ways, the vampires going into the mountains because that’s where humans tend not to go so that they can starve & allow the humans to find & resurrect them if there can ever be peace & harmony. yeah, makes a whole heck-load of sense but it got me through that day.


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