the andromeda strained…

the andromeda strained & the whizzball report all after the break…

note – you know what? don’t read the “leaving comments” page! i don’t want to post your comment!

the andromeda strain (2008 mini-series)…

i’m beginning to think that there’s no hope anymore.

honestly, how hard is it to re-make the movie “the andromeda strain”? it’s a movie inside a really-advanced laboratory. except for the town scenes, you can make the thing without the actors ever seeing sunlight… ever. it is a dead simple, set-piece movie. throw in some snazzy special effects & you are done.

nah.

see, whenever i watch anything that pretends to be good, my first instinct is to wonder if i’m distracted enough to let the bad crap slip on by. if the film distracts me enough, i don’t care if the characters drive a car to the moon & back; it doesn’t bother me because the film is good enough for me to just not care.

when a film is a stinker, i’m asking myself, “why did that character do that?” or “how come they introduced that but never went back to it?” all night long until the end credits roll.

in a nutshell, the andromeda strain centers around an uber-deadly virus that mankind has never seen before. a group of scientists need to find a cure for it before it destroys them & their underground uber-laboratory that they’re in.

all night long, i was asking myself questions. questions i should not be asking myself. in fact, the most frequent question i was asking myself was “why is that in the movie?”

  • why is rick schroeder’s character gay? it makes no relevance to the entire movie.
  • why emphasize a female scientist’s desire to protect a baby survivor? the survivors are completely forgotten about by the time the second part of the mini-series rolls.
  • why is there an above-ground subplot at all? it distracts from the central storyline & adds absolutely nothing.
  • why did the nuclear missile re-arm itself when all the virus could do is disintegrate things? the virus is smart but it isn’t that smart.
  • how did two kids pick up a smouldering satellite? that thing would’ve been both too hot & too heavy to handle for hours.

and on & on & on & on…

the more i watched this mini-series, the sadder i got. they clearly want to make a sequel out of this but i’m not going to be fooled again. watch the original movie instead.

the whizzball report…

start = 305. end = 304. net gain = +2.

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