x-files & the whizzball report all after the break…

note – the “leaving comments” page is clearly titled for a reason. read it before leaving a comment.


as i get older, i feel myself loosening my grip on all of the things i had a stranglehold of back when i was younger. for instance, i used to know all about all of the movies at any given movie theater at any given moment. i’d be all like…

yeah, that’s the movie with the actor who replaced that other actor in [film name]. did you know that the original director of [film name] was going to be [director name] but he dropped out once the original actor dropped out & then the project sat for five years & then that director went on to make [film name #2], where he met his future wife. there’s a funny story about how the two met…

nowadays, i couldn’t give a fcuk if i tried. really. i have better things to do with my time then to know some fcuking director’s life better then my own.

so what does this have to do with “the x-files”? well, for starters, it was the first tv show that truly turned me away from hollywood.

let me explain.

see, i was a nerdy nerd back when that siht came out during the jurassic era. naturally, i ate that siht up like i was in starvation. if i close my eyes & try to drown out all the bullsiht noise around me, for just a brief moment, i can see myself walking up the stairs to my friend’s apartment to watch that show. i can smell the stank of beer. i can hear the tunes in the background. word. good times. i envy the youth for their youth, dammit.

where was i? oh, yeah, “x-files.”

anyway, here’s the problem with that show – it never answered their own fcuking questions. they just kept asking more questions. and more questions. and more questions.

you know, i’m not about to take a bunch of fcuking notes just to follow a fcuking tv show. watching that tv show wasn’t fun; it was a fcuking chore. even when they finally began answering a few questions, the answers sucked when compared to what i had envisioned the answer in my own mind.

so, needless to say, it didn’t take me too long before the x-files was something i only watched when someone else was watching & only because i wanted to be friendly & social. if the tv was turned off & all that was on was the x-files, then the tv stayed off. that simple.

also, i have no idea why everyone was treating gillian anderson like she was a playboy playmate. i mean… really… let’s come back down to planet earth for just a moment, shall we? i could never wrap my mind around such infatuation.

anyway, this franchise is dead to me. they never bothered answering all those stupid questions & when they finally did, they weren’t as great as i thought they’d be. both of the stars haven’t become mega-stars since the show ended but they don’t have to be because i’m sure the royalty checks alone could pay for a normal person’s living expenses for the next century or so.

now, there’s a new x-files movie coming out & i just couldn’t care less. they both look old & tired. maybe they finally realize that their best days are behind them & they’ll always be known as scully & mulder no matter what they do or what they say or what they eat. i’d be pretty sad if, no matter how hard i tried, i’d be remembered for only one thing even if that one thing was a good thing.

maybe in this new movie they could resurrect the lone gunmen because that was the only thing that kept me vaguely interested in the series even after i wasn’t interested but that spin-off series they did with them was so retarded it melts brain cells just thinking of it so i won’t.

like most movies, i’ll just read the summary & imagine what it’d be like instead of actually going out & seeing it. that’s cheaper &, a lot of times, better then actually seeing it.

the whizzball report…

start = 329. end = 327. net gain = +1.


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