china quakin’…

china’s a’ quakin’, megan fox “topless” & the whizzball report all after the break…

note – those who don’t read the “leaving comments” page shouldn’t leave comments.

china’s a’ quakin’…

i think that the only thing left not to hit asia lately is godzilla.

today (or tomorrow, i hate that whole international date line thingy out over the ocean), there was some sort of earthquake in china that toppled a lot of buildings & killed a lot of people.

earthquakes suck. yeah, i know about the tectonic plates & geology & how the earth needs the tectonic plates & how in the grand scheme of things that earthquakes are really good for the earth & blah biddity blah blah…

earthquakes suck, ok? especially if you are at ground zero when one of them strikes. they suck on all occasions, even if you’re in bed with your sex partner having sex. yes, earthquakes even makes sex suck. that’s how bad the earthquakes suck. you’d think that it wouldn’t suck during sex because the big joke is that your partner says something stupid afterwards like, “wow – you really rocked my world!” because your partner doesn’t realize that an earthquake happened & credits the supposedly wonderful shaking all to you but, in reality, you will never ever have sex with someone that stupid. also, a huge chunk of the ceiling will likely fall on top of both of you, crushing you instantly & killing the both of you.

how many people wound up dead because of faulty communist construction methods? who knows. let’s be blunt – the words “communism” & “damn, that’s a finely built building that will never collapse unless an asteroid the size of simon cowell’s ego strikes it” aren’t synonymous. therefore, i’m guessing a few of those buildings were bound to collapse if they were exposed to a strong breeze long enough.

i hope everyone trapped by the rubble escapes unharmed. i hope that china learns it’s lesson & opens up its community to radical new ideas like freedom of speech & all that other good stuff. however, better them then us.

ps – next time, strike beijing.

megan fox topless…

i know i’m old because i have no idea who this chick megan fox is but, apparently, every other 20-something heterosexual male does.

i’m tired of the words “hot” & [fill in some actress between the ages of 18 to 23 here] being placed together. they aren’t synonymous.

here’s the secret no one wants to reveal – most chicks that age can attain a certain level of beauty. it ain’t hard. with guys, it’s hard. we have to work out endlessly & crap. all women have to do is avoid the sweets & own a b-cup or better. bam. instant “hotness.”

the hard part is maintaining the hotness after the quarter-century mark. cellulite grows. breasts sag. your underarms get flabby. vericose veins. wrinkles. the works.

so, right now, megan fox is “hot” because she was spotted wearing “pasties” (think of them huge circular band-aids that women like to stick over their nipples), a smile & not much else.

let’s see if that hotness still exists when she hits 45. odds are, it won’t. enjoy your hotness.

the whizzball report…

start = 330. end = 328. net gain = +2.


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