i love europe…

i love europe & the whizzball report…

note – those who don’t follow the “leaving comments” page will not get their comments posted.

i love europe…

so, there’s this situation going on in austria & for a while i thought it was australia. i hate the fact that those two countries have such similar-sounding & spelled names because i always get the two mixed up unless i listen or read very carefully.

can’t the united nations do something about that? like every other crisis, they fail to act to resolve the austria-australia naming crisis.

anyway, i guess there’s some serious stuff going on over in austria about some guy who chained his daughter up in a basement & had sex with her for 20 some-odd years.


you know, i thought that there wasn’t any crime going on over in europe. i thought they were the non-obese, uber-intelligent, ultra-wise, fiscally-conservative, clearly-superior version of what america prays to be someday if we eat all our vegetables & memorize the bible like a good little nation that we once were.

all my teachers used to use europe & japan & china & all these other fcuking continents & nations to totally rag on america when i was a kid. japanese kids could shoot boulders out of their butts while solving quantum physics problems. kids from india designed intergalactic spaceships in their spare time for fun. european kids could bench press 400 pounds & had -4% body fat… on average.

fact is, the rest of the world is as big a butthole as we are. face it, you suck, too. i mean, the worst thing happening here is that we raided some religious compound in texas (again) & found a polygamous society. at least we didn’t find a woman chained in a basement with her father banging her to produce his own grandkids. geez. how can we possibly compete with that?

anyway, i’m glad you guys are joining us down here in the lowest common denominator. there’s plenty of room – spread out.

the whizzball report…

start = 352. end = 350. net gain = +2.


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