the highlander franchise & the whizzball report all after the break…

note – read the “leaving comments” page first if you want to leave a comment. thanks.

the highlander franchise…

so, over the weekend, i had a major “highlander” sugar rush. it happens. i don’t how such memes get into my brain but they do.

for those who don’t know, “highlander” is primarily a movie franchise about a bunch of immortal people running around the world, having sword fights with one another. you’re supposed to decapitate your opponent’s head &, by doing so, you gain more power which makes you more likely to beat your next opponent, et cetera so forth until there’s only two immortals left & the winner of that fight regains their mortality… i think. i can never be certain.

if ever a franchise needed to be re-set, this is that franchise. seriously, they’re re-setting all these other franchises (james bond, batman, superman, you name it) so they might as well re-set this one as well because it desperately needs it.

stop! before all of you fanatical “highlander” fans send me nasty e-mails, i don’t hate the “highlander” franchise. it just needs to be re-set. that’s all.

the problem this franchise has always had is a lack of direction. really, if you’re new to the whole “highlander” concept, then you should check out the first movie & the first couple of seasons from the tv series that is based upon the movie. avoid the second movie in the series as though your genitals depended upon it because, from what i understand, it is a brain fart on the epic scale of “breakin’ 2: electric boogaloo” proportions. really, i mean it. don’t say that i didn’t warn you.

so, what do i like about the franchise/movie? i don’t know. just the overall concept, i guess. i think the tv series added a few nice touches that a 90+ minute movie couldn’t really afford to add. unfortunately, with each passing movie/tv season, they just kept adding junk that either contradicted earlier canon or the stories just got to the point of mindnumbingly horrific.

back when i was younger & even more stupid, i had half a brain to write a script that re-set the entire franchise, keeping what i liked & what i didn’t. i wrote down some pretty serious notes & then, somehow, grew a brain & realized that i would never have any influence over the franchise & would not get monetarily compensated for all of my hard work. not like i really get monetarily compensated for all the hard work i do at my real job, but…

anyway, i really like “highlander” the movie. i especially get a kick out of the songs “princes of the universe” & “who wants to live forever” because they remind me of when i was younger & had less stress in my life which is a cop-out way of saying “happier.”

ok, you know what? because i’m feeling particularly sadomasochistic (not richard quest “what the heck do you have a rope wrapped around your genitals” sadomasochistic), i’ll give you guys a challenge. if you truly want to read my re-set of the “highlander” franchise, send at least 5 replies to this particular post stating explicitly that you want to read my fan fiction version.

i’ll tell you right off the bat that it would take me a while to convert my notes into actual readable fan fiction. fair warning. i’ll also use capital letters.

the whizzball report…

started = 377. ended = 375. net gain = +2.


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