they came from hollywood…

they came from hollywood & the whizzball report all after the break…

note – only stupid people don’t follow the instructions on the “leaving comments” page. don’t be stupid. thanks.

they came from hollywood…

so, it’s a slow news day & i don’t feel like writing much but i’ll write something anyway.

everyone knows about “duke nukem forever,” it’s an fps game that a company named “3d realms” has taken forever & a half to make & they give out all these excuses & whatever for why it’s taken decades to make a stupid fps game that even 4 monkeys in a moscow apartment could make in 6 months on a computer bought brand new in 2001. they’re lazy, they know they’re lazy & if they had any organization we’d be playing “duke nukem forever 3” by now but we aren’t. so, in other words, it’s the self-proclaimed “king of vaporware” because every year there are rumors that it will come out soon & it never does.

if “duke nukem forever” is the king of vaporware, the game “they came from hollywood” is the indie prince of vaporware that absolutely no one has heard about.

“they came from hollywood” puts you in the shoes of “godzilla”-like monsters trying to destroy a city. the company making the game, octopus motors, has been trying to make this game before a couple of towel heads rammed a plane or two into the twin towers. every couple of months, i check the website just to laugh at it.

how freakin’ long does it take to program a game about a monster rampaging through a city? sheesh! i’m not a programmer, i can’t claim any programming street cred but to say that a game about a monster rampaging through a city can’t be coded in 7+ years is just retarded. make the game already.

here’s a hint – if it takes you more then 3 years to make a game, you’re doing something wrong.

the whizzball report…

started = 429. ended = 424. net gain = +3.


Tags: , , , , ,

3 Responses to “they came from hollywood…”

  1. Larz Says:


    (reposted with the magic word this time)

    If you look deeper into the history of Duke Nukem Forever, one of the weird contract clauses they had was that they were paid to WORK ON the game…not to finish it! By milking the dev process indefinitely, they were on a never-ending gravy train. That’s rare in game dev land, so I don’t completely blame them for taking payroll forever off vaporware hype and empty promises. That has now changed, so they’re looking to actually finish it up soon. So it makes sense.

    In our case, NO ONE IS PAYING US TO WORK ON TCFH. This is an important point….it means our progress on the game has been interrupted repeatedly and frequently by having to take real, paying work to keep the lights on and the cats fed.

    We’re a two person team and not full time. We aren’t using an existing engine. Do the math on how many full time people work on a regular game, times how many years they work on it, and you’ll find that by a man-month metric, we shouldn’t be finishing until sometime in 2073. It’s simply a lot of work to do.

    As we’ve coped with having to interruptions, illness, limited resources, etc…time marches on. Game players become more demanding. Computers become faster. SDKs/APIs change. Expectations grow as you take longer: “X years? This better be good!” We’re fighting an uphill battle in terms of having to go back and redesign and improve the graphics and core engine just to stay anywhere near current technology. That’s where we are right now — a MAJOR rework of the core engine and entire asset pipeline, being worked on in between our paying work. We’re actually making far more of a game than we started 7 years ago. More like a 2.0 or 3.0. And factor that’s 7 years calendar time, not man-hours.

    So THAT’S why it’s taking so freakin’ long. It has nothing to do with programming skill or difficulty, and everything to do with logistics. We aren’t happy about it any more than you or anyone else is. We’re horrifically embarrassed. We hide from going to the GDC or talking to our peers for fear of being asked about it. It’s NOT A FUN SITUATION FOR US. I’d really like to be able to recoup some $ in trade for that significant fraction of my limited lifespan I’ve sunk into this project. So yah, if we could “just ship it” we would — but it’s just not there yet. If anyone still cares about the game, know that it WILL get done, because there’s no way I’ve sunk this many hours of my life into something that will wither on the vine. In the mean time, we’re trying to lay low until we have something REAL we can show people, and have an HONEST ship date.

    The best we can hope for, when we finally do get there, is that people will be understanding: forgive us for the wait and align their expectations to reality.

    But I guess I understand if they don’t.

  2. Alberto Says:

    Fast forward 3 years and change, and Duke Nukem Forever is about to be released, where They Came From Hollywood, well, is vaporware to the max. I hope Larz and co. are still working in the game, but since nobody is actually paying to doing so he and his friend could take all the time they want to finish. But the thing is, the hype you created with the webpage and the announcements has let down a number of fellas that were ready to play that concept, even if that hype was a blip or two in the big gaming scene. I am myself a big time fan of monster movies and gaming, and i would love to someday get the chance of play TCFH but rigth now for my at least is the dissapointment of the last decade (and counting). I know it may sound a bit too harsh but when you tell something in the internet, it is there to stay, and your game is right now replacing DNF as the vw king.

  3. Lutonaut Says:

    Hi Alberto, and thanks for reading my blog.

    My opinions in the above blog post were more then just a bit sharp (My failed attempt at being “edgy”) but they are still valid. I haven’t actually been to the They Came From Hollywood website in ages so I don’t know if the game has been released, canceled (“Abe Vigoda” meant “alive,” I think, in their lingo) or put indefinitely on hold (which seems to be simply developer-speak for “canceled”).

    I’m not sure if TCFH would replace Duke Nukem Forever as the vaporware king considering their relatively low profile. I only knew of them because, earlier in my life, I had both the time and the enthusiasm to search across the Internet for such projects. As the Internet increased in size and scope, the ability to monitor independent game production simply ceased being feasible. Also, my life and priorities have changed over time and I no longer have the same amount of enthusiasm to pursue such endeavors.

    If I had to start creating a list of vaporware contenders to replace DNF, I would start with both “Half-Life 2: Episode 3” and “Half-Life 3” itself. “Doom 4” has been in development now, supposedly, for 2 years and it’s presently rumored to have a 2012-13 release date. Valve appears to be increasingly distracted by numerous factors, amongst them – The runaway hit that has been “Portal” as well as Valve’s success with their copy-protection scheme, “Steam.” Quite honestly, there is a perfectly valid argument that Valve no longer even needs “Half-Life,” much like Electronic Arts no longer needed the Ultima RPG series once “Ultima Online” became a huge success.

    Besides HL3 and HL2:Ep3, the list gets foggier (more simply because of my lack of current gaming knowledge then anything else). Star Wars Battlefront 3, perhaps?

    Anyway, it’s an interesting debate and one that I might perform a little research on in the future just for reference.

    Again, thank you for reading my blog.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: