old fart…

Indiana Jones & Valentine’s Day after the break…

Indiana Jones…

For anyone living under a rock, the first official “teaser” trailer of the movie “Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is now online. I’ve seen it already.

My thoughts? Too little, too late. This is a movie that should’ve come out around 1998 in order to have achieved maximum effect. Harrison Ford (“Indiana Jones”) would’ve still been just young enough to pull it off with credibility while still having one or two “old fart” jokes mixed in to give the baby boomers a laugh or two.

No offense to Harrison Ford but the man is old & he ain’t fooling anyone anymore. I watched the trailer & couldn’t help but mentally cringe. Granted, there will never be a real sequel to the original “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (If you haven’t seen that movie yet, stop doing yourself a disservice & go see it) & I’ve come to grips with it. The sequels that have followed “Raiders” (Temple of Doom & Last Crusade) felt cheap & ridiculous, like comparing chewing tobacco to bubble gum. Actually, if you want to enjoy the sequels, maybe you shouldn’t see the original – The original is the only good movie out of the bunch.

So, what of the trailer? Well, the old fart “I didn’t swing correctly” stunt was the only thing that made me smirk for a moment, if only because I knew they’d have to include some swipe at Ford’s age. I couldn’t care less for the dominatrix villain, whomever she’s played by. I couldn’t care less for Indy’s son who apparently is filling the movie’s “Scrappy Doo” quota left by the retiring Sean Connery (who, in turn, took it over from some Asian kid who’s name blissfully escapes me at the moment – Go to IMDB.com & look it up yourself).

I know, I know… I’m being overly bitter. We should be lucky to be getting an Indiana Jones film at all, right? Well, no. The time for “Indy IV” came & left already but, apparently, Spielberg & Co. didn’t bother reading THAT memo, either. Oh, well… At least they can’t take away “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” right?

Valentine’s Day…

There’s nothing I like about Valentine’s Day.

  1. If you’re single, it sucks. Thanks for rubbing my nose into the fact that the opposite sex finds me completely repulsive. Thank you for reminding me of this inescapable conclusion in my life. As though I really needed an update on my undesirableness.
  2. Which fcuktard decided to put it on a day where you’re freezing your nuts off? Here’s a thought – Put a romantic holiday on a day when you’ve got half a chance to go outside without getting hypothermia.
  3. Flowers. What’s the deal with flowers? I don’t get it. I understand chocolate because chocolate tastes good. That part of the bribery I can understand. The flowers part is totally stupid in my opinion. They’re too expensive & they die too quickly. Even jewelry I can understand partially because at least jewelry can be worn. There’s no point with flowers.
  4. You don’t even get this stupid day off. It’s not a national holiday, they don’t lump it into a 3-day weekend deal… I just don’t have respect for a holiday that you don’t get time off from.

I’m tired. I’ll write more later.

The End.


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