15 minutes…

Jared Fogle…

I usually try to avoid picking on Z-list celebrities for a variety of reasons. Namely, extending their 15 minutes of fame is the very least I want to happen. However, upon learning that Subway Restaurant’s most annoying spokesperson got financially drained as a result of a divorce is just too good to pass up.

OK, divorce is always messy & painful & no one should ever make fun of 2 people who clearly should not be living in the same zip code never mind sleeping in the same bed. However, one has to wonder if Jared didn’t bring this upon himself. After all, who marries a guy about 400 pounds & expects to be with them for the rest of their life? The only clearer sign of gold digging is if she’s about 40 years your junior.

From what I understand, even Subway is tired of Jared & has dropped him as a spokesperson. Personally, I don’t know if that’s true or not because I have a DVR & fast-forward through all of the commercials anyway. For all I know, Subway could have a line of naked women hawking their sandwiches on national TV & I wouldn’t know it. Speaking of which…

Olivia Munn…

Another Z-list, “Who the fcuk is she?” celebrity, she’s apparently slutting it up on the cover of some magazine this month. I feel bad for young female celebrities nowadays because, inevitably, they feel the need to appear in a photo-spread showing off their cha-chas in a G-string bikini that couldn’t cover a small paperback book never mind a 20-to-30 year old woman. I don’t know what gets into them to pose practically topless – If this is their idea of independence or women’s lib or if it’ll boost their acting career or “street cred” or what.

This chick’s claim to fame is apparently co-hosting a geekfest show called “Attack of the Show” on a geek channel that I can’t get anymore without a cable box. If you’re coked out, don’t have the Internet & have an hour to waste, then I guess this show is as good as any. The show reminds me of those dorky news programs that try to integrate the Internet with their program (“Here’s what those bloggers are saying about what’s happening in Burma right now…”) & fails miserably.

If she doesn’t realize that she’s on the show just to be eye candy then there’s nothing more that I need to write. Maybe she felt threatened that she’d get replaced by someone hotter, younger & cheaper so she felt that she needed to expose herself. I don’t know.

John Tesh escaped the dreaded TV co-host career… Maybe all she needs to do is pick up an instrument.


I’m sad to say that this show has gone South for the Winter & it ain’t coming back. Maybe it’s the Law of Diminishing Returns but the “myths” aren’t really myths anymore. Kids, movies are fake; They do fake things with fake props using fake effects to make you believe that it can really happen. Odds are, a car can’t fall from the roof of a five-floor apartment building & drive away or any other silly stunt. Let it go & admit the truth – The well has gone dry & you’re just reaching at this point. Stop the sadness.

What I wouldn’t mind watching is an edgier Mythbusters that takes on actual scam products by name & just proves them wrong right on the air. Mythbusters has come close to that a few times but they never call out the actual companies… They just test the products. That’s a cop-out & everyone knows it.

The End.


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